My Support Forums - View Single Post - Two (or 'Too'?) Commonly-Used Terms

*Beth* · Nov 08, 2022, 01:18 PM

I'm interested in discussing two terms I very frequently hear/read. I hope others have thoughts, opinions, experiences to share; I'm interested in reading and considering them.

I will request that this thread remain mature and respectful...please, no arguments or nastiness.
Thanks in advance.

The terms I am referring to are "narc" ("narcissist") and "toxic."

Okay, maybe I'm old-school, but when I initially began hearing the word "narc" I thought people were referring to this:

"The word narc is slang shorthand for 'narcotics agent,' a federal agent or police officer who specializes in laws dealing with illegal drugs. Narc is sometimes also used to mean 'police informant,' someone who secretly gives inside information to the police, informing on others who are engaging in illegal activity."

I grew up with, "Hey, are you gonna narc me out!?" - meaning, Are you going to tell someone about something I did or said that was a secret? "Narcing someone out" was a rotten, mean, nasty thing to do to a friend. It meant, in essence, "tattle-telling."

Of course, the word narc nowadays is often used as a shortened reference for "narcissist" meaning (this is a quote from Urban Dictionary):

Narcissist or narc: someone with high self-regard, who does what advances their well being, often to the exclusion of others' happiness.

I don't think the pop-culture term "narc" actually means "Narcissistic Personality Disorder"...or am I incorrect about that?

On to toxic.

Toxic is another term I hear a lot. I have done quite a bit of reading about what it means when someone is referred to as "toxic." Sometimes the definitions I've read make sense...more or less, yet sometimes it strikes me that someone who refers to someone else as "toxic" is themselves a narc Or, even more often, someone who calls another person toxic has toxic qualities in their own behavior - a "pot calling the kettle black" kind of thing.

I have never used the words narc or toxic to describe another person's behavior because those two terms are just too vague to me. Plus, the over-use of the words irritates me. I wish that people would use a more detailed thought process, a description, to explain what they mean when they say "He's a narc" or "She's a toxic person."

By now, and this is obviously my opinion, the terms are so overused they've lost all meaning; they sound like a drone to me. When someone uses the words my mind (or my eyes) just stop paying attention and I move on. I guess that the 2 words seem superficial to me.

So. Thoughts, ideas, experiences?