phantasmagoric, sounds like you are in a tough spot. Maybe opening up here on PsychCentral and sharing will help you. I am afraid, I don't have too many answers right now. I do know that suppressing my thoughts is a bad idea--it makes them grow and fester. It is important for me to acknowledge my thoughts and then try to move on to other things. Meditation and control of my breathing help dispel my anxiety when I am triggered.