Yes, there are budgets for everything, including counselling.

If she and I are to enter counselling I'd have to borrow the money.

It was necessary to speak to my son about this. Not for his input and advice, but because he has asked me to leave with him. He has to be informed what his mother and I spoke about and what the plan is to move forward.

I understand what you are saying too about what a person's lived experience is. I also know that a person can be overwhelmed and fail to view something objectively. There are things I failed to see in the bigger picture at his age as well, and my emotions ran high at times and I failed to see things as objectively as when I looked back as an adult. I suffered depression at times. I can look at those times and realize my emotional responses didn't match the inputs, so to speak.

The younger kids go to individual counselling too. At $100 a pop this gets expensive fast. I appreciate big kid taking them and talking to a counselor together but I do have to be concerned that he isn't influencing them too much.

I'm caught. It's that simple. I've told my wife for over a year that things are escalating for him. I can't leave him unsupported as a young adult. He feels like he is going to break. I can't "be there" for both of them.

I really think something happened with my wife. I think there is mental illness there that isn't being seen or treated. Things were really hard for a long time, but they got a lot worse in the last two years and especially in the past year.

And through all this I feel like I am having my heart ripped out of my chest.

I've tried to look after HER through a lot, and the KIDS through a lot. Now I have to choose.

This sucks.

Thanks everyone. I'll update you about outcomes.

RDM