Hi Beth,

How do you convince someone they are having significant memory gaps? How do convince them they are confusing words sometimes? How do you convince them their reality and memories are wrong?

How do you convince them they have extremely angry outbursts that they claim they have no memory off?

What if this person has early onset alzheimers? Or a brain tumor? Or has had a stroke? Or a medication reaction?

This progressed for over two years. Initially I thought it was a mix of chronic pain, depression and sleep deprivation.

She had surgery a year ago and pain and illness have improved over the course of the last year.

The kids got dragged into the middle of this, first, when the oldest got caught in one of these memory glitch situations in February. Then some more after.

Youngest got caught in one around first week of September, in front of me. When I pointed it out to mom, her reply, in front of kid was, your father does this to make me think I'm crazy. When I said that's not true, mom asked for a divorce in front of kid, saying that I am lying and manipulating her, and far stronger things. Youngest went to big brother immediately.

Then it was all dumped out in the open from the kids to mom. She HAD to hear it from someone else because she'd built a narrative that I was sneaky and manipulative and lying. She had to hear it from the only other people who witnessed it.

Do you know what it's like to be terrified for the brain health of someone else?

What kind of person am I to leave at that time? What if this is really, really serious? Maybe this is a personality disorder,or maybe she has a brain injury. We don't know. How do you leave the kids in that situation? One parent can't abduct them.

I've taken a ton of crap for a long time from her. Now what if she's in a brain health crisis?

I've done this with two elderly family members before, one with dementia, one with a stroke. If you've experienced that, this is similar, except for how intermittent it is.

I've been past my limits for a long time, and questioned my OWN version of reality in therapy for months.

The kids had to voice their reality to her. She had to hear it for there to even have a possibility of a medical solution.

Thanks for listening

RDM