I am so sorry you are in that situation. You mentioned therapists. Do you think your wife would consent to go to couples therapy? Having your own personal therapist might be helpful to you in your distress.

It can't be easy being you in this situation. Wish I knew how to help but sadly I am at a loss. Hopefully others here with more knowledge, experience and insight will see your post and prove helpful to you. Sorry I could not be helpful to you in this!