Someone told me once that you can't really love someone when you don't know them. Therapists do share some info about themselves, I have felt like I could love my T if only he would let me, but I get reminded that I'm just another client by his behaviour and I snap out of it. He doesn't want me, I know that. I also know I have no idea who he is outside of that room.

We never meet them as who they really are, outside of being a therapist. So we love the idea of them, but not the real them. I know it still really hurts though...I think the best place to start, apart from seeing another T, is to stop 'feeding the monster' and quit searching for him online. It will just drag it out and there's no point going through more grief. I hope the new T is helpful with all this well.