Dear T,
Now I regret emailing. I should have just waited until Monday, but the feelings just seemed overwhelming (and I didn't even tell you the extent of it). Please be kind in whatever you say. Sorry for sending the second email, but I just had this fear you'd be like, "I give you lots of extra time--what do you want from me?" or "this is a professional relationship, and you have a set amount of time" or something.

And now I'm afraid that if I end up feeling the need to email during H's recovery from surgery, you'll charge me, and I'll feel rejected because it's been so long since you've done that. Maybe I'm sabotaging myself in a way, I don't know. Or maybe I'm just hurting and want reassurance.

I do really wonder if this is mostly about what we talked about, all the stuff with D. If I'm really seeking reassurance about that, that you think I'm a good parent even if maybe I sort of paused trying to help her in certain ways. It seemed like you understood why. And weren't judging me. Well, maybe you were a little. But you can't judge me more harshly than I judge myself....

Just please don't be annoyed with me for the emails. I'm sorry. And please give me some sort of kind, caring reply today, even if it's just a sentence or two.

Love,
LT