I certainly feel this way. I hate needing T. I feel like I am addicted, in a way. I need, need, need T, but I don't want to need T. I want to tell T that I am never coming back, but I can't. I need my sessions, and I often feel like I can't make it in between. I want to reduce the frequency, but that doesn't seem possible. And the fear of rejection is so great that I hold back, so I'm not even making good use of my time.

It is absolutely humiliating for me to feel this dependent on someone else. It is also terrifying, since every time in the past I have depended on someone, they haven't come through. I feel ashamed, confused, lost, and I am too embarassed to let T in on any of this.