Sqrl sounds like a voice of reason and experience with this disease/disorder AG. He's not offering up pithy platitudes here but instead his honest words of kindness and concern.

I'm not sure if you have patterns to your rapid cycling over the years but you were in a bad state in 2002 just about this same time of year. I wonder if that has any connection? Some people just get hit harder by the depressions during certain times of year........I don't know the reasons why.

Please consider printing out your posts here to take to your therapist or pdoc. Just two weeks of your posts would be ample for the professionals to get a better idea of what is going on with you when you're not there in front of them or on the telephone with them.

Good luck and I'm hopeful the professionals will continue trying to help you and that you will continue trying to go to the professionals for help.