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Old Nov 13, 2022, 02:26 PM
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Have Hope Have Hope is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,742
Quote:
Originally Posted by RollercoasterLover View Post
I added 2 miles of walking steps to my weekly routine by parking farther from the door at stores and work.

I think you are missing the attention, not the person. It is easy to associate what you want with the person you used to get it from. Teach yourself to separate the 2. Remind yourself that most of the time, the attention he gave you was not what you really needed. And the rest of the time, his attention was used to manipulate your heart and mind.

Sometimes, the victims of abuse become attached to the abuse, like they can't function without it. I would go to free Al Anon meetings when that feeling hit me. I felt addicted to the abuse, and I didn't want to be. So I decided to follow the example of a cousin who was battling drug addiction and going to daily NA meetings. I found other people who could understand what I was going through at AlAnon. It helped to know I wasn't alone and most of the time. I was not as bad off as I thought.
I'm not attached to the abuse - I am attached to the good times we had, which is called trauma bonding. I am trauma bonded to him, and must break free of it.

I am attending narc abuse support groups, which is better than Al Anon for me. It's specific to my issues, and that's what I need.
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