Decided not to look for previous thread, but to start new one on a familiar subject.

Brief history. Her childhood not a happy one, although elder, her sister was their mother's favourite. Something that continued through adult life. Widowed far too soon, my mother remarried. He was mentally abusive but she decided best course of action was compliance.

Since a fall 6 years ago, her health has declined. Mobility issues, she now can't walk very far even with a stick. Various aids at home to make life easier. However, her mind is still sharp for everything that anyone has done to upset/anger her. These failings constantly occupying her mind, despite her attempts to be more positive.

Her latest outburst at me last week was a result of others actions. My aunt used to be carer to a neighbour who needed to be told what to do (dementia). She forgets and sometimes does this to my mother/her sister. Then so-called friend winds her up about another neighbour. Final element is her favourite child (my brother) has let her down recently by inaction and things he's said.

Again she became insulting and dragging up things from the past. Later found out that she'd admitted to my aunt that "she'd said some nasty things to me, but I'd done the same to her". Everything seems to be "tit for tat". Brief discussion on Saturday about document I hadn't returned to her after disabled badge application.

Over the past few weeks, I've taken her shopping (non-food) and thought we'd had a positive experience. Also attending covid booster and flu jab session, where other people's kindness made her emotional. Keeps questioning why I don't visit more often. Exactly how her mother behaved!

My main issue is that I'm expected to accept this treatment because she is unwilling to take issue with those who've said things or not acted in the way she expects. When I asked why, she doesn't have an answer and starts calling me names. Few minutes later, this is denied. When I've kept quiet, I'm then accused of not being interested.

She has no friends, makes no effort to phone elderly relatives and blames others for this behaviour. Constantly claiming she's depressed, her goal seems to be making my life as unhappy as possible. As for getting medical help, she's right in complaining about UK medical services that seem to have abandoned her.

Sorry about length of this thread. There's a lot of details I haven't included as they're just variations on a theme,. I've told her I can't take any more but it made no difference. She called me a hateful drama queen! My aunt just cannot understand why she's behaving in this way and at a loss to offer any more advice other than to ignore it.