It’s understandable you struggle right now. It would be weird if you didn’t. It shall pass.

As about friends. I get it. Most of my old friends are across the pond. I keep in touch but I had to get new friends near by. New groups. New activities. I lost myself in my last relationship too and would never allow that again. Some people do that to you, make sure they are your entire world. Seems like it makes it easier for them to control you and ensure you never leave.