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*Beth* · Nov 14, 2022, 09:57 PM

Thank you for asking, @Fuzzybear. I'm feeling cautiously better today. Not absolutely great by any means, just better than yesterday. A bit more hopeful.

Honestly, I watched the final episode of season 5 of The Crown last night and ended up so furious at how horribly Charles treated Diana, how cruel he was to her, that I got angry. When I got angry I felt less depressed. I guess it sounds silly, but all royalty aside their marriage was so much like mine and David's. I watched Diana, one year ahead of me, until she died so horribly. David and I married when I was 19, he was 34. I was crazy in love with him, he was in love with other things, not with me. He married me because his stuffy, old, wealthy family wanted him to "settle down" already; his "lifestyle" didn't look good for his father's career and for their friends. And I was so sweet, pretty, totally naive. I fell for everything. All of it. And on and on. (In my mind I called us "Charles and Diana," I'm not even joking.)

So as silly as it may sound, the story went on and on in The Crown, just as it did in my own life and I saw myself being so desperate and David so selfish, over and over and I just became outraged. I've spent my life, 42 years, begging for his attention. But he always has other ideas. And it's because of him that our daughter stays away from the family.

Anyway. So I got very, very angry.

Thanks for asking, Fuzzy. You have a gift for being a friend