I'm so sick of waking up at 4 or 5 am in the morning. Last night I woke up multiple times and it's driving me mad. I think about this guy and honestly I give too much of a **** whether he talks to me or not and it's freaking dumb. As if any guy is gonna fix my life when my mum freaking dies and I have no where to go. I care about these dumb things and it doesn't even matter I just wish I could stop thinking about it. Like there was this other guy that I knew from high school he was never interested in me when I was interested in him he even said I was overweight. Now he's flirting with me?!!! Honestly I'm sick of this ******** sick of thinking about boys as if having a relationship is gonna change anything for me. I need friends I need to stop being scared of talking to people and just make friends and go to places and have fun. I'm only 26 once in my life and caring about other people's actions is too much effort and so much ******** when it's like who freaking cares. Who cares if they don't talk to me. Who freaking cares if G from highschool said I was fat and is now flirting with me because I don't see any of these guys giving a flying **** about me. So I should stop thinking about them be like **** them and live my freaking life hangout with my sister who is burnout from Alana and probably needs a friend right now. Also I should be doing things around the house and prioritising my family relationships rather then thinking about dumb ****.