Thanks Discombobulated

Realise she cannot change, not only for reasons of advanced age. I also accept this. However, taking the rap for the poor behaviour of others is unacceptable. Sometime ago, she admitted that as far as telling the people who'd upset her, she said "I'm a coward". Does that make her behaviour towards me any better, no! My aunt's advice to just ignore is also met with criticism that I'm not interested. So either way, I'm targeted.

She will not go to these groups. Only recently has her financial situation improved; affordability was a problem in the past. There's also her low self-esteem. Only one place she's happy and that's visiting my brother. Unfortunately, because he has a house she cannot stay overnight. Only sleeping option downstairs is a large recliner chair. My aunt has moved further away, so visits not as frequent in both directions. Okay, they phone each other nearly every day.

I'm not looking to win. This is a very sad situation but nothing new. I've been her target for many years. The mother/daughter relationship can be tenuous for a variety of reasons. Have also privately questioned whether she's jealous. Something I never thought would enter my mind. The search for answers goes on...