My Support Forums - View Single Post

Fuzzybear · Nov 15, 2022 at 08:05 PM

Self care meant I was ''a very selfish person''.... yeah right

yeah, I meant the rain emoji (my keyboard has been playing up a bit)

Quote:

Originally Posted by nonightowl

What do you mean by "(rain)"?

The rain emoji?

I found out many years ago my mother's idea of a "close" family was worlds away from mine. She thought it was about merely problem solving, whereas I feel it's about not just that but sharing of real feelings and thoughts. Without repercussions.

Next year I'm going to read a book called Toxic Parents---with a subtitle something like overcoming their painful legacy. I can't recall the author at the moment. When visiting their ashes (last in 2020!), I told them they sucked as parents and now I want to know WHY. It must be THEIR upbringing. But why pass on that dynamic? Did they have no self-awareness at all???!!!!!

Self-care was considered "selfish" and any "bad" or "negative" emotion was so taboo!!! "IF you can't say anything pleasant, don't say anything at all."

As an adult, I still get comments like "It's not that big of a deal" or "Get over it" or "Aren't you making a mountain out of molehill?" THEN if the tables are turned and they are struggling, how dare you say to THEM it's "no big deal".