I'm glad you're doing bette and I can see how your view on big holidays can change with your mood. Generally people who aren't as happy aren't going to like the holidays as much. It's hard being unhappy and being around many bubbly and overly happy people and it may even seem a big cringy too. In fact a lot of the bubbly happiness is forced and those who are depressed just don't have the energy to put on a forced act.