Quote:
Originally Posted by poshgirl
My main issue is that I'm expected to accept this treatment because she is unwilling to take issue with those who've said things or not acted in the way she expects. When I asked why, she doesn't have an answer and starts calling me names. Few minutes later, this is denied. When I've kept quiet, I'm then accused of not being interested.
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I know it's hard to break out of established patterns, especially with family. From a young age, our parents tend to, I guess you could say, train us to act in certain way. But, you don't have to accept her mistreatment. You can set boundaries. If she starts insulting you, tell her you are not going to put up with it and if she keeps it up, you are going to hang up the phone, or leave. Then, do it.
It sounds like my mother has a lot in common with yours. She also repeated dysfunctional patterns her mother exhibited and never has had any self awareness. I have had to set boundaries with her and even go low/no contact with her various times for my own mental health.
I am sure it will be challenging at first to set a boundary. She won't like it. However, you don't have to put up with treatment like that just because she is your mother.