It's been really frustrating over the last couple of years because I'll let her know that certain people and situations bother me and then I'll ask for her help. There was a time when I suggested that one solution would be for me to drive separately to various functions, then if things were to get too uncomfortable for me, I'd just leave. Instead of supporting me, she made a point of loudly telling the people I had issues with that I had driven separately and that I might leave. It was an obvious attempt to sabotage my (I thought it was our!) plan.

I expected her to think "he's telling me that sometimes things get too uncomfortable - so I will understand where he is coming from - and he will sometimes drive separately and leave various functions on his own"... the only reason I told her is so that she would understand why it was that I wanted to drive separately. Instead it appears that she told the people involved what was going on - sometimes loudly, in my presence. She even argues with me when I tell her I want to drive separately - and tries to talk me out of it.

It's gotten to the point where I don't feel comfortable sharing with her my most intimate thoughts.

Quite often her comments and actions suggest that she can't even hear my point of view - and sometimes it appears that she intentionally misunderstands.