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I'm sitting here crying for no reason and going downhill fast. I skated today and it felt fantastic, but the time comes when I have to take my skates off. In the past when it got toward this point I'd travel. No hesitation, just hit the road or book reservations for a plane. But that's not possible at this time.
I need to sleep and it's getting late again, but I'm afraid to sleep because I want to make myself not wake up. Plus, I also don't want to wake up. This forum is the only place in the world where I feel not hated right now. The pain and terror I feel annoys people, they misunderstand it. Or there are a very few who give me dumb advice. I appreciate their effort, but it also causes me stress, because I have to thank them when I feel like not saying anything. Or saying Please don't say that. You don't have to try to fix me. Also, don't listen to me, because I have nothing to say. I'm just in terrible pain. It won't end. I'm glad you exist, but please just go away and let me sit here and rock and cry.
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