ArmorPlate108, can relate to so much of what you are saying.

In my case, problem is my mother and her unacceptable behaviour. Have got to the stage now that my mental health is far more important than her tantrums and accusations.

I agree with others, the OP needs to consider his and his children's safety. It's unfortunate, but often inevitable that kids get caught in the crossfire. Have experience of someone in extended family whose kids have been used as pawns. They decided they wanted to live with him and his new partner, rather than stay in the toxic environment with their mother.

As I've said before, I wish you luck RDM.