I know someone who through her 40s and 50s helped her mom care for her father. Her mother was in her 70s when I met her and her dad was mid-90s when he died. They did it for about 15 years. Her father was bedridden and had some type of dementia. Apart from not being able to walk, though, his body was pretty healthy.


It destroyed her physically and mentally even though they had some help from nurses. He would sundown frequently, making it hard for anyone in the house to get a decent night's sleep. She developed back and joint problems from having to move him around, since he was not a small guy. She gave up her career and trying to get back into work with a long absence like that, especially in your 50s, is nearly impossible.

I think you are doing the right thing in being firm about not becoming her carer. You can steer her towards whatever assistance might be available in your country instead.