Hello everyone. My daughter left home for college and is half way through her freshman year. She's been dating a guy for a year. They are the same age, both 18. Throughout high school my daughter worked very hard and was able to do well enough to get into the college she wanted to go to. Her boyfriend did not do this. He never challenged himself and said he just goes by what his mother told him to do and that is to "only do what is easy". So he is still living at home and taking a few classes at a local community college, but not doing well in the classes. He says they are "too much work". He did have a job but quit it. He is very unhappy with the way things are going for him. He talks to my daughter constantly and is clinging to her like a second skin. When she is home from college she spends all her time with him. If she stays up at her college town he goes up to her. I've started to notice my daughter's attitude about college getting bad. She has not made an effort to make new friends and her phone calls to me to complain about her college have increased. Today she called me and said "I can't take this place any more. I want to come home." I realize college is hard for freshman when there is so much adjustment going on. I always give her my ear to listen and I give her advice when she asks . I've told her I'm always here if she wants to talk. The thing that is bothering me very badly is I feel that the bad attitude or "just give up" attitude of her boyfriend is bleeding into her life and is now causing her not to thrive at college. I feel like the boyfriend's lack of drive is holding her back. And misery loves company. of course things have been challenging for my daughter so it's probably great to compare misery with the boyfriend.

I feel like I can't come right out and blame the boyfriend or she'll want to be with him even more. But I feel he is having a negative effect on her. Does the boyfriend appear to be having a toxic effect in your opinion?