lauren, what would happen if you told your T what is in your first post? That you feel needy and humiliated because of that. That you think he thinks you shouldn't "behave" in a certain way (sending him needy emails) but yet you do because you can't help it, and then you feel ashamed about it. What would he say? Have you had this discussion before?

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if someone would've told me 2.5 years ago that I would act like this in therapy, I would've laughed...not me I don't need anyone, I practically raised myself

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">That sounds like me. I was very self sufficient. Sometimes I say in therapy, "what has happened to me?" And T says, "therapy will do that to you." It puts you in touch with your feelings, some that you have locked away for decades. Now I no longer feel able to present the self sufficient, stolid, impervious face to the world that I used to. It's really hard. I have to cope with actually feeling things and I am not equipped to do this. It all makes me wonder, "who am I, anyway?"

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I agree with this statement it's just that I can tell he doesn't feel comfy with all the neediness. He has said before he wants to foster a healthy attachment not unhealthy

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Lauren, have you ever asked him what is a healthy attachment and what is unhealthy? I am not sure what that means. Are you sure what you have is unhealthy? Are you sure being needy means unhealthy? If your T considers your attachment to him to be unhealthy, what needs to change so that it becomes healthy? I hope you can really talk to him about this and not just assume that your neediness is what he means by unhealthy.