I am realizing how unhappy I am in my life without my husband - I am not saying I am unhappy without HIM, I am saying, now that he's gone, I am seeing how unhappy I truly am in my life. I don't know where my career and job are heading, I am in no man's land in my current job, I am alone, lonely and I have very few local friends. I am not happy about any of this.

My girlfriend and I though may take a cruise together sometime next year. So that's one thing to hopefully look forward to.

But also the holidays are coming, and I've never enjoyed the holidays when I've been single. It's a very lonely time.... I am having a really hard time.

To top it off, I got a "I miss you so much" text from my husband this morning.