Odds are you are an empathetic good listener, I seem to recall you’re a retired nurse so that would fit.

I get this too, and for me there isn’t any hard and fast rules because a lot depends upon the person and my relationship with them. I do have a couple of friends who do offload a lot, but I like them as people and so for me I tolerate that within reason, these are long held friendships. If it were someone I’d just met I’d be less tolerant.

I think being aware of how you feel after spending time with a person is important. You write you feel downhearted. That’s natural, you spent time with a person who didn’t seem to listen or pay heed to any of the things you’ve been going through. Your needs weren’t acknowledged by her.

Setting time boundaries seems a very good idea at the least, you might choose not to develop this any further, you aren’t obligated to.

I understand you’re in a place where you’re finding your way socially again, that’s great news, but finding more of the type of people who are reciprocal with their conversation seems wise. Trial and error is the only way I’ve found of doing this.