First, I'd like to give you a hug (((Some1whocares))), and next, some of my thoughts.

As Mary Alice has said - we are one big family, so welcome to our group. If I understand your meaning of that you have given her complete control over you and that she knows this, and that she has stated you need to take control - my thoughts are that she is saying you need to take some control back.

And this may not be a bad thing, for she may very well think more of you than either of you know. For example, when someone knows all they have to do is call you up and you will be there - it takes away their ability to realize just how much they may really care about you. Asbsence, although hard at times, does make the heart grow fonder, so I would simply recommend that you find something else to do with some of your time, but don't exclude her completely.

A good example would be to simply tell her you have deicded that on a particular night you are planing to see a movie, or something else that you would like to do or see (shopping always worked for me - all those lovely dresses, pumps ... sighsss). Invite her and if she would like to join you, great, but if she declines, then go alone.

My guess is that she was someone that can be independent and strong. And if she pulls away, as bad as it may hurt you, you just may be better off, for you deserve someone that loves you equally.

I hope something I have said is helpful to you. It was said in the spirit of caring.

Yours,
Sam