PInk,

It took me almost a year before I cried in front of T. Sometimes now I still hold back but I try to let it loose if I need to. Once it got out of control! Tears and snots flying out of every pore. You know, I think it has to do with the balance between adult me and child me--and developing greater levels of intimacy.

The closer I feel to T, the less I care about the spectacle of crying.

Maybe when you are with T you feel very safe and you don't need to cry? Maybe you cry when you leave because you miss that feeling of safety.

As far as Pdoc goes, I have never cried in front of mine. It's a different relationship. But maybe you can cry in front of pdoc because the relationshp is such that you expect him to "fix the boo boo." Whereas with T, you know that you must work through the pain....

Hope today is brighter.

Peaceout