My Support Forums - View Single Post - Bipolar check-in #71

*Beth* · Nov 20, 2022 at 05:39 PM

FURIOUS!!!!! For the second time this week Amazon has delivered an EMPTY bag! I wait 2 darn days and the bag is tossed at my door, obviously open, not a thing inside! This time I caught the driver and bawled him out. I said You can see this bag is empty, why did you leave it at my door and mark it as delivered?! He checked his truck, of course- nothing. I called Amazon, dah, dah, dah. "We'll deliver it tomorrow." Deliver what - another empty bag? Oh, I am SO angry!!!

Nothing to do but take some deep breaths and accept that I am powerless over the situation.

*breathe*

When is February, how many days? Pitchers and catchers (baseball) report the third week of February and that means spring. Not dark so early. I am so done with this. Yesterday I saw the sun outside of my window and it was a full sun. The screen diffused it some. I stared at it, just stared right at it. I could not look away. I felt like I was looking at the face of God. I felt like I was saved for all eternity. I just stared and absorbed the light. Finally, I made myself look away, but I did feel lighter afterwards. For the rest of the day I saw a light pink spot everywhere I looked, so I guess I burned my retina bit, but I didn't care, it was as though I was carrying a piece of that sun with me all day. (After I slept the pink dot went away. No worries.)

The sky has been very blue lately and the sun higher and brighter in the afternoon. I have not left my apartment for 2 weeks as of tomorrow, except to get the mail and once to do laundry in the laundry room. That's sick, not to leave my apartment like that. I'm going to go to the grocery store after I write this. I have a therapy appointment tomorrow (if she decides to toodle into work).

It's possible that the Topomax may be kicking in some, maybe?? The depression seems to be slightly decreased. At least, less intense. For example, going to the store seems doable, which is HUGE.