My Support Forums - View Single Post - Bipolar check-in #71

*Beth* · Nov 20, 2022 at 11:56 PM

I did go to the grocery store. I asked my car if it remembered how to drive, it's been so long. When I was pulling out of the parking lot the sun was shining and sparkling in on me through the windshield and Neil Young came on the radio and for that moment I was in paradise.

Tonight I've been terribly anxious. Like every tiny noise just sends me into a state of near panic. I don't know, I'm just crazy. It's sad, but if I never have a grandchild it's probably just as well because it seems like a lot of grandchildren come out like their grandparents. I would hate for a kid to suffer the way I do in life. Honestly, I think I need a low dose AP. But med dork will say Well you've tried several of them and none have really worked ... Yes! But that was at a different time of the year and I was maybe dealing with a different overall mood state, med dipshite. Dude doesn't seem to understand that "bipolar disorder" means I don't stay exactly the same 12 months/year. In fact, the mood states are fairly predictable.