I realize that I was in a line of work where being emotionally supportive is part of the job. I'm a retired nurse. Maybe I've had more practice responding to need than a lot of people get. Still that doesn't explain to me how some people can be so focused on themselves. My neighbor raised 3 kids. She knows what it is to be needed. It seems she was a good mother. Her adult children seem very loving toward her.

I think, sometimes, these types of people think I'm a fool. They see it's easy to get and hold my attention, so they seem to figure they might as well help themselves to all the attention they can soak up.

Last night, when I would start telling her something about me, she would turn her head 90°. Her chin would be over her shoulder and she would be looking sideways. It seemed she was pondering what she would say next, when she got the floor again. Thinking about this is making me a little angry. People who do this are not merely needy. They are at least a little bit greedy. They even have a certain skill. They know how to not encourage the other person to talk. They carefully refrain from asking follow up questions. They hang back and wait, knowing that I'll keep the conversation going by giving them something to verbally springboard off of. All they have to do is wait. My neighbor is actually more skilled in interaction than I am. (Most people are.) She knows how to control the encounter, so that she gets what she wants out of it. I'm really sick of people doing that to me. It happens because I let it. I refuse to keep being such an easy mark.

Change means I have to be willing to walk away. I try to wait for a break in the conversation where I can wind down the conversation. But these kind of folks are skilled at segging from one topic to another, in such a way that you almost have to be rude to make an exit. I have to remember that my time belongs to me. When you signal that you need to wind down and withdraw, and the other person ignores the signal, it's they who are rude. They are saying, "No, I'm not finished with you yet. I'm not ready, nor willing, to release you yet." When I go along with that, I am being a fool.

I probably sound nuts, but I really think I get taken advantage of. Analyzing it the way I have is helping me figure out how to not stay in this pattern.