When I got married, I did go where he wanted to go. He had the career and was the sole provider. I was working for my parents at the time. I gladly gave up working to get married, and was happy with where he chose to live. It was close to both our parents, yet far enough that they weren’t too on top of us. We lived there for nearly 30 years. We started having kids right away. So, I was a stay-at-home wife and mother. He wanted that, encouraged that. He didn’t outright demand I not work, but he always told me I didn’t need to. He really liked me being available to do everything for our family without any conflicts.

The problem was it wasn’t marital bliss. I have been miserable, emotionally disturbed in relation to this. It became a back/forth struggle relationship. Probably part of it is an element you touched upon Lokebee, I just went along with him. I never had a strong sense of identity. I still don’t, am working on it.