Quote:
Originally Posted by poshgirl
ArmorPlate108, thanks for your comments.
Have tried breaking the conversation but invariably she returns to it at the time, a week later or even several months. Seems to be a fixation in her mind that she has to grind me down because I don't think/behave like her. If I try the bathroom break strategy, she's waiting for me.
One thing she doesn't like or understand is that I've resurrected a hobby. I'm an aviation enthusiast and write a blog for a website. Lockdown would have driven me to distraction otherwise! I don't expect her to understand the techy bits but know she's also trying to deflect my attention away from that.
As for what she's told other people, my time will come to put the record straight but I'm not actively seeking those opportunities. They will happen of their own accord.  |
You’re doing well spotting the patterns imo.
You know your mother better than anyone, some phrases I might try with her are:
“That’s interesting” without giving an emotional response when she’s trying to elicit it. Possibly “I’ll bear that in mind” when she’s trying to give you unwanted advice.
“I see your perspective”. Is another one. Then divert to another less contentious subject,
These mightn’t be appropriate, you know her best, but those are some of the sort of phrases that might diffuse her by validating that you’ve heard and understood her without having a disagreement or you giving in to her point of view.
I may be wrong but it sounds like she’s been quite powerless in her life and I wonder if she’s trying to exert power over you as a result.