I frequently ask the age of someone and the age of a parent as in your case Tisha. There are other elements that have significance as well because of how different people grow up with certain traditions and messages that they grow to believe are the right way to be and raise their family to also believe.

From what you have shared of your mother, yes, she practices unhealthy behavior patterns. You did not really notice it for a long time as well as the affect it had on you. When you begin to see how unhealthy certain behaviors really are it can have a rather great impact on how you feel. This can lead to a lot of discomfort and confusion in one’s self.

Your mother engages in whatever behaviors that provide her with a sense of control. Yes, it’s disordered behavior patterns, but she doesn’t see it that way and probably never will. That is a hard thing to learn to accept in a parent. She is a product of her generation and at this point she is pretty hard wired to practice these methods she has grown to believe are justified.

You have been slowly working on how you react. This is not an easy task and can at times become very uncomfortable at times to the core of who we are. It’s not a bad thing that you have moved farther away. It’s also not unusual for a controlling person to show displeasure as you have described. Yet, there are things we must do for our own mental health.