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I've found, throughout my life, that I'm a genuinely kind and understanding person. Sometimes someone crosses a line, however. When that happens and I assert myself the other person seems shocked by my ability to stand up for myself and they attack me. It feels like they think I was supposed to be "nice" regardless of how much they pushed me. This is a repeat pattern in my life. So what I'm doing, finally, in my late 50's, is trying my best to set healthy boundaries in the beginning...be fair to both myself and to the other person. That way, when I do say "No" or "I don't agree" - they don't act like I just tried to attack them, and start an argument with me.
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