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*Beth* · Nov 24, 2022, 01:33 AM

Hi @Rose76, I've seen you around the forum for quite a long time. With regard to your rotten pdoc, the first thing I'll share is that there are far too many psychiatrists/mental health providers who should not be working with living beings. Far too many.

That said, we need them to diagnose and prescribe (if we go that route). In the approximately 35-ish years I've been seeing pdocs I've seen about 30 or so (some for years, some for months). Out of that 30 or so I'll say that 6 were genuinely gifted at their work. Model psychiatrists. Most were mediocre, and about 4 were such power-tripping lunatics they should have had their licenses pulled.

Moving on.

As you likely know it's impossible for anyone to diagnose you except a mental health professional. Obviously, it's difficult for many of them to manage the job. Actually, if we knew you for a short period of time irl we could probably diagnose you as well as, or better than, a professional could. And we'd do it free of charge. But we can't prescribe meds, so, there's that.

I have found online testing for Do You Have Bipolar Disorder useless. It just doesn't catch the nuances, plus it's so hard to be entirely objective about our behaviors.

So forgive me if I missed this, but are you currently seeing a pdoc, is that who is prescribing the amitriptyline? If so, what does that one say about your dx?

I will mention a few things. I've been diagnosed with BD2 (one pdoc insisted BD1 and I've wondered about it at times, but she was the only pdoc to consider that dx - although she was also a very experienced and talented pdoc) since I was in my early 30's (I'll be 60 next month). And I have never really had "pressured speech." Even when amped up I am able to listen well and don't usually interrupt people. I've known others who have BD and don't have pressured speech, either. I think it's over-rated as a diagnostic criteria.

Has anyone ever mentioned mixed state BD to you, or are you familiar with it?

I find what you've mentioned about your experience with the groups really interesting. I would tend to feel more comfortable with the bipolar bunch. But who knows whether that's diagnosis or personality? Even when I'm as terribly depressed as I've been this month, though, I'd find the bipolar bunch easier to hang out with, probably because I tend to have mixed state BD. Even when miserably depressed I am energized inside.

Do you tend to have anxiety, severe anxiety? Sometimes very intense anxiety can be mistaken for anxiety when it is actually an aspect of bipolar disorder. Many people, and many pdocs!, don't know that.

When all is said and done, I do believe that successful treatment, whatever that turns out to be, takes priority over diagnosis.