Here's a saying I think most of us have heard. It goes: "You teach people how to treat you." The longer I live, the more I see the truth in that. There is such a thing as making yourself too available.

I know I've done that. I can't totally fault others. I give off mixed signals. When someone imposes on me and I reward them, they're likely to keep doing it. I hate to cut anyone short. I've had people call me up and want to stay on the phone for hours. And I went along with it because they seemed so in need of a shoulder. I'm not really helping anyone by listening so long that my arm hurts and my ear gets sore. I'm accompanying this person down a dead end road. If I stop doing that, I may come off as abrupt at first. But practice makes perfect. I trust I'll get better at finding a reasonably gracious way to acknowledge another person, respond . . . and move on, when enough should be enough.