You know I think this is one of these things which can come with practice (and maybe age). I think it was true of me once, it’s less so now, and now I’m trying to think how I did become more assertive.

I agree with Beth’s advice about validating but not necessarily agreeing. It’s stating your truth I feel. That’s not the same as THE truth of course, but it’s acknowledging we can have different views and that’s okay. I wonder if part of not being assertive is wound up in fear of conflict. Conflict is normal and healthy at. times though.

As a retail worker I get people blowing their tops at me frequently, their favourite product isn’t in stock and that’s all it takes for some individuals to rant at the store assistant. I find this more difficult because of the power balance, it’s the customer always being right even if they’re wrong and we have to diffuse constantly. It’s wearing but it’s part of my job - I validate, apologise and smooth over - I really would like to tell them to get some perspective but that’s not allowed. I don’t indulge their temper any longer than necessary though and cut the interaction short as soon as possible.

Not sure if any of that helped but can only encourage you to keep on practicing that assertiveness when appropriate, it’s really only stating your truth, you can do it firmly but kindly and it does get easier in my experience.