Hello Everybody!
I hope you're all enjoying your holiday, if you're having a holiday today. If not, I hope you're having a peaceful day/night. I always enjoy the TG Day parade in NYC, it's fun and relaxing. Reminds me of being with my sister-friend when we were little girls, excitedly watching the parade on TV.
This day is just plain stunning. Sparkling! A bright, high sun with a high of 68 degrees - 70 tomorrow and Saturday! What a fabulous blessing, and one I certainly need. Oddly, the overnight lows are in the mid-30's, but those haven't bothered me. The leaves on the tree outside of my bedroom window are off, so I can see the pretty red lights that decorate the movie theater a few blocks away. I like that. There's a big tall, tall redwood tree outside of my kitchen window, redwoods stay nice and green year-round, with their gorgeous thick red bark. I love that tree. Sometimes I really do hug it.
I'm still upset about my appointment yesterday. Shaking inside. Not only because it didn't go well, but from the doctor's actual manner. The "Okay! You can do this OR you can NOT do this! Your choice!" As if I have control over how my brain reacts to medication withdrawal - as if having this damned illness isn't hard enough to live with. As if I'm being purposely "difficult."
I've decided I will continue to continue the small decrease of A.M. K-pin (P.M. dose as usual, in accordance with Dr. D.'s suggestion). I have a month to decide whether I will keep my appointment with him. So, in the meantime I'll discuss things with med dude who, while lacking in experience, is empathetic and does listen well. And I'll monitor how I feel inside, if I feel I can give Dr. D. a 3rd chance or whether I feel just too triggered. Can I emotionally safely decide on a "2 out of 3" - hoping that just maybe his rotten mood was the result of him being sick (still not acceptable, I know). I will never trust him, but if I can use the guy for my ultimate purpose, well, I have a month to make that decision.
Hugs all around~