My Support Forums - View Single Post - Not being assertive enough which leads to people taking anger out on you

eskielover · Nov 25, 2022 at 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

That's good you've learned to be assertive. Yeah I try to be diplomatic too since I don't want to come off as overly rude or arrogant when I'm being assertive. That's another reason I'm not very assertive because I don't want people to see me as rude or arrogant. Unfortunately I have seen people who are very arrogant try to play the assertive card to get their way so that's why I'm careful to not cross that line.

Thing is that if nice doesn't work with some people then I get firm & direct & let them know I gave them a chance & they blew it. Lol....the older I get the less I care about not crossing a line but mostly I work at communicating my thoughts firmly in the first place so people know exactky where I stand. If they don't like it then they can choose not to associate with me.....no loss but they don't take their anger out on me because there will be a battle & they usually don't want to go there.

I think DBT interpersonal relationships section is a really good place to start for strengthening assertiveness skills. It reinforced skills I already had & taught me others.