It may feel out of character or even feel wrong to you, but any reply to any contact is a signal to him to keep contacting you. Responding to a happy Thanksgiving text with a reply was innocent to you. To him, and his narcissism, it was "I got her to notice me and now I can keep her attention!" Your attention is like a drug to him that he won't stop using until you refuse to be used. You acted like his supply, and until you don't act like supply, he will keep up his antics and manipulative behavior.
You have to stop thinking it isn't nice to respond when he communicates. You have to put your need for a peaceful no manipulation life over your desire to appear friendly towards him. He will ALWAYS disrupt your peace and try to manipulate you.
It isn't my intention to upset you or offend you. I know it may sound harsh, but reality is harsh sometimes.
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