Thanks Open Eyes. I'm familiar with this, and broached it with my wife a few years ago. She says she is anxious not avoidant. I see some of this applying to us, not everything.

This is just so hard right now. Like I said so many times, I don't hate her, I'm not angry at her. I see her as injured and I see her as mentally ill. I love her, and needed her as my partner.

We had a counselling session this past week and the stuff she said.... It just never happened. She talked about stuff from several years ago and it just didn't happen like she said at all. It's hard to move forward when we are working off a revised history now.

She surrounded herself with a new circle of friends who have no knowledge of us as a family, and they are fully supporting her on liberating herself from the hardships she has had to endure from me; advising her of her rights and entitlements in a divorce, offering her a place to stay, and saying things to the kids about me.

This is really hard. I've loved her since we first began dating 25 years ago. I never envisioned myself being married until I met her. Who she has become is not who she was.

RDM