AG, it's "never going to change" if you have this attitude going into every relationship. It's not as simple as it sounds, I know. If anyone knows what it's like to hold on to old belief systems instead of getting a different perspective, that would be me! You've seen that in action here and I'm at the point where I just have to do something different. From everything I've read that you've posted, you are being your worst enemy. It's hard to see but much of that has to do with the state your in. You have a full plate with your mom right now so please don't be so hard on yourself, OK?