I wonder if that crazy dream about the savage pet monkey that wouldn't stop viciously attacking me, biting me, clawing at me, was a metaphor in some way for those things that I just don't know how to let go of. I don't know how to get them off me, and yet even when I do, after a monumental effort, all I do is lock them in a cage, keep them as tightly constrained as I can, so they can't do that to me again. But they keep multiplying, just like the monkey. Giving birth to these horrific, disgusting monkey babies, and I know I need to keep feeding them. I can't let them die. So what do I do? I keep it as hidden as possible, in my dream the cage was covered with a thick cloth, and I just tried to pretend that there was nothing there, even though I knew I would never be rid of my secret.