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Nov 25, 2022, 08:17 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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Today I rearranged my bedroom. I pushed my bed back against the wall. I had it with only the head part against the wall for the past year and I never felt comfortable that way. I feel safer with the wall next to me. So I did a bunch of cleaning and as she always does, my darling kitty Sidney helped me out.
I had a sweet chat with my son, N2, yesterday and my daughter, N1, called David. She's doing very well in NYC, but continues to refuse contact with not only me, but with everyone else in both my family or his (she does have some contact with her brother, thankfully). A woman 37 years old who, all of her life, was given only adoration and love by everyone from both sides of the family. What truly breaks my heart is that my sister, my daughter's aunt, her champion who had held her as precious since forever, asks and asks about her niece. Well, my sister's dementia is worsening. It will be sickening if N1 doesn't see fit to contact her aunt before she is profoundly "gone." It's been 5 years and to this day, no one knows what the heck is wrong. I hold myself together pretty well, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry every single day. I'm so nervous about my 60th b-day, knowing I won't hear from my daughter who, for 32 years, was my very best bud.
I'm pretty sure the increase in Topomax is helping to alleviate my depression and with that decrease, my anxiety isn't quite as severe. It seems there's less of a mixed state...a feeling of being more stable and "in the middle." Oh, my gratitude!
UG, it's dark already. But I can't complain; we had a lovely afternoon. The orange tree outside of my kitchen window is already showing oranges.
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