…and we’re back to challenging marriage. It’s beyond challenging, it’s broken. I am handling it better now, without the emotional dysregulation this time, so far… Now to tackle the depression that sweeps over me, knowing I should find myself somewhere else to go, but don’t know where. I do not want to let this get the better of me this time. At least my son is here today before he returns to school. I hope he’ll do something with me for distraction. I am going to make it seem like everything is fine here for his sake, trying to clear the stink from the air that is between h and me. This is the part in the past I feel worst about. Our home wasn’t a healthy, happy environment for the kids. They knew there was trouble between mom and dad, though we didn’t outright fight, nor did we give the silent treatment. It’s just obvious though subtle, so insidious. This was child abuse done to them. I will do my best to spare my son one more day of that.