I don't think you can learn about how you will approach sex from a book or other people's comments. It depends on your own personality and experiences. You can't not make "mistakes," or follow some set of rules to have the "perfect" experience. It doesn't happen/they don't exist. There's a lot of trial and error and mess with relationships (not just sexuality). You have to "practice" just like anything else in life. One learns what is what as one goes along. No one else can tell you how to feel or what to do or not to do because no one else will have had your experiences, met the people you meet (or don't meet) or have your personality and background or know the personality and background of those you meet.

If I were talking to my 16 year old self now, from age 57, I'd tell myself "it will be all right," but I'd tell myself that for every part of my growing up experience between then and here, not just sexuality. I wouldn't push yourself or judge yourself by what others are doing or saying. Your own counsel is really the only one you can go by because you're the only person who knows you.