Hey thank you for reading my messages, I know it was super long, so thanks for your patience reading it.

I told my therapist she said either you say you need a break of the friendship or you are happy to talk just not meet up.
I thought to go for happy to chat but not to meet up because I already was having converstation with her. This happen before I made this post.

Now I am having second thoughts about if I even should talk to her.
"It's what I've notice even with talking to my other friends. Constantly vaildating them and that what the whole converstation is about their problems.

I'm going to show you what she said and I said to give you a idea. The one part I don't like is the banana part. I did notice each time I mention not seeing her she mention not seeing her old face or how she has gotten old or her dressing up as banana.
I started to feel ashamed and not understood. Or made fun of.

So I told her I am not ready to meet her. I said this
"So I know you want to meet up in person when you come here and it would be nice, but I'm not ready to meet in person yet. I'm happy to message each other and stay in touch but I'm working on some things for myself.
I hope you can understand.❤️"

Ashely response to this reply was
"Oh thats ok Apple I understand, I won't push anything. You won't see my old face then 😂 I've gotten so old"

I felt a bit guilty her saying You won't see my old face then. I've gotten so old.

I then replied back and said
"Thank you for you understanding. My socail anxiety isn't that great. I have been exposing myself going to caffees on my own etc. Oh no I saw a photo of you on Instagram you don't look old. You look good"

Steph's
"That's ok Apple I understand, I'm sorry you're feeling like that, no pressure at all and when ever you feel like you want to meet me I'll be there, I can dress like a banana too 🍌 but if not thats ok 🙂"

I was left confused I didn't understand why she mention the banana. I felt made fun of, ashamed. I told her something very vunerable and it's like oh yeah I totally understand but I can dress up as banana. Making fun of my anxiety. Or thats cool, you don't need to see my old face.

Alot of other things she was seeking vadilation a lot which I thought was odd when you haven't spoken to someone for ages.

Here are some copy paste converstation we had just to give a idea.

I'm so excited about coming I could cry, it's been so long I've got a French accent (I'm joking haha) but I'm also nervous about the flight over, and my work over there and everything. But I'm sure it will work out 🤞 I was excited to reply but now I'll sleep haha, have a lovely day! ❤️

My response to her nervousness flight over here was.
"We have lived at our new place for about a month now heh.

Awwwww......Ashely you must be so happy. hahaha french accent that be cute on you. Oh why you nervous about the flight over? is it the long flight cause that cause me anxiety once in Abu Dhabi. Or is it just getting out from such a long time been away?

I have notice you have done your awesome business! it looks so adorable! I'm so proud of you. It takes guts to make a business from the ground up!

Ashely's response

Oh I'm so nervous something will go wrong and I'll be trapped in Malaysia or something 😂 or my business will be shut down for going overseas because of security stuff. But its just me stressing cause I like to stress haha, also seeing my parents old. I still invision them younger in my mind.

Thank you Apple🥰 it's a dream come true and I must have gotten lucky, its my full time job now

My response back to Ashely was
Oh that's understandable being nervous about stopping by Malaysia and worried to get trap some where. I be so scared to do it on my own 😖 so you are doing really well and being brave. I'm sure things will go smoothly as long you stay on the airport you should be fine. Security stuff? would they be funny with your sewing gear? I guess the needles?
aw...yeah you haven't seen your parents like 4 years now eh?
How are they doing? Is your Pa still working?
How's your brother?

Your welcome. It's awesome what you are doing and it's so adorable!! I want to squeeze them. It's all the hard work you put in you know and keep going!
What made you decided to make it into a business?

Ashely's reply
To go to NZ and if they take my crochet hooks away I'll die haha

Thank you Apple, I'm not brave though, I just hold my breath and hope for the best haha the motivation family and you and everyone makes me able to come over 😄 yes 4 years! My dad works here and there when he wants, mum works from home and my brother had to sell his house in Nelson because he got made redundant during covid.

her other reply was
"Something terrible happened Saturday night. My tooth broke off 😥 and today ill be getting a root canal and some fillings. Then another root canal when I come back from NZ, I'm so nervous"

She randmonly told me her anxiety with her work and how she is concern that it won't be trendy anymore and her business will died.
I told her that trends move slowly and you be able to adapt and people love hand made things.


I apologise the message was ong I just thought it was important to know a bit of content to get some idea what's going on.
I keep having flash back as well during the day when she bullied me at school.

What's your insight in this conversation.
Why is she seeking a lot vaildation when we haven't spoken for 4 years.
Alot of the converstation ended up being about her or her asking questions about my sister's business because she has her own business now. So I'm a bit suss she trying to get information out of me to benefit her business.

I don't understand why each time I mention not meeting. She said her old face and I said she isn't old and then she tells me in the message randmonly I look young.
Then again about the banana. I don't understand. Even my partner thought it was odd with the banana.
So I would like to understand what's going on there as well.