I didn't sleep good last night. I got about an hour of sleep after 11. I ate almost 3 full containers of tic tacs. Its a stress relief thing for me. I also had a couple Gatorades. So my stomach and anxiety wasn't the best. I've just had Project Runway on all day. I did improve the quality of my food and I've eaten decently since the tic tacs. I see my pdoc tommorow afternoon and I'm hoping he'll do something to help my anxiety. Although he has been pretty *****y lately and unwilling to help me since our last session. I'm just going to remain calm and stuff while talking to him. Also my first therapy session is on Thursday. I thought it was the week after. So I'll see how things go with this one. I wish things would just get like magically better. Idk. Maybe having a job really will help. I know it really helped me mentally, physically, and financially from 2016- late 2019. I just have to get up the courage to apply. This Walmart thing spooked me. But mainly I'm just procrastinating out of fear .

I'm just kind of all around anxious and kind of sad today. I miss my transference T and also my last T, and I don't think either can be replaced. Plus the 8 year anniversary of my dads death is on Tuesday. I hope my pdoc can do something for me and I hope he is in a decent mood.

Edit: eating with my meds sure makes a difference in how they work. I took my normal afternoon meds and ate a bowl of plain oatmeal, and I feel a lot better. I don't normally eat with my meds. I'm working on eating with them and also taking them at the same time.