Years ago from my different inpatient and out patient stays I learned coping skills but the weird thing was I did not use them right away. It was like after 3 or 4 years I just found myself using them.

Right now I am still suffering from grief but I have been having mania and between that and the grief is is a mixed episode from hell, and I am also rapid cycling. I got put on a small script of Ativan and I have to take one in the morning now and I try to not take anymore because my pdoc only gave me 10 cause I told her I was suffering from major suicidal ideations.

This sucks

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